It's hard to believe looking at the above picture that what happened in my home yesterday really happened. It began like any ordinary day--Bennett woke us up entirely too early for a Saturday morning. I was feeling miserable with yet another cold. We had eaten pancakes for breakfast. I laid down on the couch with Landon to rest, hoping my head would stop throbbing from the congestion. It didn't take long for Landon to fall asleep on my chest and I wasn't too far behind. Ryan had gone to the bedroom to get dressed for the day. Bennett began pulling on the cords that connected the VCR to the TV. I asked him 2 or 3 times to stop. Part of me was too tired to get up and the other part of me thought he would listen like he normally does. He began moving backwards and continued to pull and before I could say anything else, the TV and the stand came crashing down on Bennett--as I watched the entire thing.
All I could do was scream and quickly put Landon on the floor and ran to lift the TV off Bennett's legs. Ryan was by my side lifting as well. I pulled Bennett onto my lap and didn't let go for the longest time. Never have I been that scared in my life and the responsibility of being a parent truly hit home. It was my job to protect Bennett and on this particular day, I didn't do my job. As my sister reminded me, things can happen so fast. If you take your eyes off of them for just a moment, disaster can strike. In this instance, I was watching the entire time and it happened anyway. After Bennett calmed down, Ryan was feeling his legs to see if anything seemed broken. Nothing did, but when we tried to have him stand, he started crying all over again. Ryan packed him up and headed to the clinic. I stayed behind to wait for my parents who were coming up for a visit. When they arrived, I quickly shared the story and rushed to the clinic. The room was empty when I got there--I was told they were in x-ray. It seemed like forever before they came back. Initially, they didn't see anything, but it was obvious that he was in pain when he tried to stand. So, we headed back for another round of countless x-rays. In the end, the doctor concluded that there was nothing broken.
On the outside, his legs look fine--no signs of bruising at all.
Truly amazing since just yesterday he had a 60+ pound TV on his little legs. After I left the clinic, I wandered around doing my errands and the could have, should have, would have's began entering my mind. What if it had landed on his head? As Ryan said what I was thinking--we surely would have been planning a funeral today. What if Landon had been playing on the floor when it came crashing down, along with the stand? Surely, the news would have been dismal. I should have gotten off the couch the moved Bennett away--that guilt won't leave any time soon. I should have done what the pediatrician had told me to do--I should have anchored the TV to the wall. As she said this, I thought, "that won't be necessary. He can't pull it down. I'll watch him closely." Well, all those things were true and I WAS watching and it happened anyway. So I am taking this incident as a huge wake-up call and got online this morning to order a variety of safety supplies--enough anchors to attach the dressers, TV, bookshelves and fish tank to the wall, safety covers for the power strips, and a clear cover for the banister. Call me crazy--I know I can't prevent every injury or accident, but I cannot sit by and let another new disaster occur. So, I will be doing what I should have done a long time ago--child proofing my house to the hilt. With another boy being ready to move soon, I cannot and will not take any more chances. The images of yesterday will never leave my mind and I have to make sure that I do a better job as a parent. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to know that my son had died and I did nothing to stop it. I will not be taking that chance again. I know I am being hard on myself, but I was the one in charge and I'm the one that did nothing. I vow to do a better job from here on out. For any other parents out there, please take my story to heart and make sure you take all the safety precautions in your house--cover all outlets, anchor furniture to the wall, keep chemicals/medications out of reach, and don't for a minute let yourself believe, like I did, that nothing will happen. I have not stopped thanking God for keeping my baby safe since this incident. Since becoming a parent, my faith continues to grow by leaps and bounds each day. Besides giving me two very healthy babies at birth, this is the most miraculous thing God has done for me and my family.
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