I know, I know!

Yes, I realize that it has been ages since I've posted anything new about me, my family, or my sweet boys. I have pictures and videos I want to share. I just checked out my sister's blog and I completely agree--I'm just too tired. Physically, I am exhausted. The boys have both been up coughing at night and Landon must be hitting a growth spurt--I can't take the 2 am feedings anymore! Any free time is spent doing things for school, as the year is winding down. There is so much to do in so little time. There are assessments, report cards, running records (and can I say as annoyed as I am that my kids keep passing the levels I try, that is also super exciting!), books to take apart, papers to file, stuff to take down, and ahh . . . things to pack. I'm emotionally tired by the thought of what my last day at school is going to be like. Rarely do I cry about the situation that is coming with the final days at my school with my wonderful kids. I'm sad that I have lost my job but the things that make me tear up are the people I'm leaving behind--educators are some of the most wonderful caring and special people you'll ever meet! And I'm so sad that I won't have the chance to see my kiddos grow up--watch them in first grade blow the teachers out of the water with how smart they are or see how tall they will be someday in 5th grade. I refuse to let myself feel the frustration I have over this whole situation. I can't yet. People continue to comment how amazed they are that I can be so positive and cheerful everyday--it's simply because I don't let myself really think about it and I have yet to grieve the loss that is my career. At this point, I have no plans to return to the classroom. Unfortunately, this situation has squashed my love of public education. But I have yet to figure out what is next. I truly believe that there is something great waiting for me and that I will find another opportunity that will bring me joy. Just not sure what that is and worst, I don't know when that will appear. But my faith has kept me strong in knowing that God will help me and my family through this difficult time and He has a great plan in store for me. So, I'm hoping in the next few weeks I will get my all important pictures and videos posted to share. Until then, I do my best to survive each day--there are 9 1/2 days left to teach my kids as much as I can and laugh as much as I can with my friends and colleagues.